You are only as rich as
your will power.

― Wayne Chirisa

forget about likeability, it’s not serving you

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s words on likeability struck a chord for me…

I hope they speak to you as well.

“I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy because you have to be likable.

And I say that’s bullshit.

So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likability. If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story so forget about likability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse and multifaceted place that there’s somebody who’s going to like you, you don’t need to twist yourself into shapes.”

 

hard question of the month: what does whatever it takes mean to you?

hard question of the month: are you a woman who lifts or carries?

stop talking away your credibility + value

{On Gwyneth Paltrow’s site goop.com, the BE section has done a great job of capturing things that affect women every day. So when I came across a piece titled “How Women Undermine Themselves with Words” – an interview with Tara Mohr – I thought it would be great to share this wisdom with you.}

“Here are some of the “little things” women do in speech and writing that aren’t really “little.” In fact, they have a huge impact in causing us to come across as less competent and confident:

Inserting just: “I just want to check in and see…” “I just think…” Just tends to make us sound a little apologetic and defensive about what we’re saying. Think about the difference between the sound of “I just want to check in and see…” and “I want to check in and see…” or the difference between “I just think” and “I think…”

Inserting actually: “I actually disagree…” “I actually have a question.” It actually makes us sound surprised that we disagree or have a question—not good!

Using qualifiers: “I’m no expert in this, but…” or “I know you all have been researching this for a long time, but…” undermines your position before you’ve even stated your opinion.

Asking, “Does that make sense?” or “Am I making sense?”: I used to do this all the time. We do it with good intentions: We want to check in with the other people in the conversation and make sure we’ve been clear. The problem is, “does that make sense” comes across either as condescending (like your audience can’t understand) or it implies you feel you’ve been incoherent.”

for the complete interview {which you should read!} click here

a.

F*ck “try.”
Trying is an open invitation to failure,
just another way of saying,
“If I fail, it’s not my fault, I tried.”
…success is the result of knowing what to do, the willingness to do it, and
the drive to continually improve at it.

― Tim S. Grover

hard question of the month: do you know how to make your success sustainable?

how to give a presentation: advice from anthony robbins

{ok, he didn’t give me the advice personally but you know how much I love the guy so I don’t think he’ll mind}

In the 2014 Advice Issue of Fortune Magazine, Anthony Robbins is featured as the CEO whisperer; it’s a great title but for me he’ll always be a life whisperer – his book Unlimited Power changed my life when I was 17. No one had told me that I was, or could be, the master of my fate. To learn, at such a young age, that by taking a proactive approach to life and business I could improve my odds of becoming successful was invaluable. The book shaped the way I made decisions and cultivated a sense of self-worth in me that was unavailable from external sources. Anthony Robbins taught me that I had the power to create my own path and validate my own pass. SAY WORD.

Robbins’ Rules: How to Give a Presentation
Five tips for engaging a crowd like Tony.

1 DO YOUR HOMEWORK

“My first thing in preparing for a presentation,” says Robbins, “is you’ve got to know your audience and what their deepest needs are, their deepest desires, and their deepest concerns. That’s more important than anything else. You have to carve your message and really make sure that it’s going to hit the mark for who you’re speaking with. So I usually do quite a bit of homework in advance, and I have a team of people who also do homework. You can’t add value until you know their needs.”

2 RESPECT YOUR AUDIENCE

“It’s not enough just to know your audience. You’ve got to honestly respect them too. You can’t influence someone you’re judging. So when I sit down and do the slides, I think, ‘Who’s in this audience? What do I respect about them? What do I appreciate about them?’ That gives me a connection with them that I—and they­—can feel.”

3 GO DEEP QUICKLY

“The next question is to ask, ‘How am I going to engage them from the very beginning—to quickly get to what matters to them?’ And to engage other people, you’ve got to be engaged. One way to engage is with shock. Or entertainment. But I think, ‘Let’s engage with the truth. Let’s go for what’s real and raw.’”

4 KNOW YOUR OUTCOME

“You need an outline of what you want to do, but the key is to know your outcome. I pick outcomes that I’m passionate about. I don’t think anyone should ever speak about anything they’re not passionate about. If you’re not passionate about something, no one else is going to be, and you’re wasting everyone’s time.”

5 EMBRACE SPONTANEITY

“Some people clearly need a sequence in their presentation to be able to function, and I understand that. But you also have to be able to flex so that you can be real and in the moment. People are starving for spontaneity. Everybody’s sick of watching somebody do a PowerPoint. I mean, it’s just absurd.”

for the whole article, click here

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