motivated mondays: your life inch by inch

{warning: explicit language} 

5 ways you are making your life harder than it has to be

{excerpted from the article 18 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be…I picked these 5 because I believe they have the greatest impact on our potential}
  1. You let others make you feel guilty for living your life
  2. You’re trying to compete with everyone else.
  3. You focus on every point in time other than now.
  4. You put off making decisions.
  5. You allow toxic people to get the best of you.

You can see that most of these ways involve our interactions with other people. It is so important to curate the people you spend most of your time with…the old Jim Rohn quote is true…

“you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”

…choose wisely. Ease up your life a bit.

for the other 13 ways go here

am.xo

29 change makers define a good life

{source: the good life project™ by Johnathan Fields, for more information click here}

Outrageous success comes from
thinking different,
being different
+ having the confidence
to always do what
feels right in your heart.

— Marie Forleo

some really great notes on feeling the fear + doing it anyway

{some meaningful excerpts from the piece, Breaking Out of Failure by Katie Horwitch}

…those ideas and visions that are actually attainable and feel like they’re in the bag, they light me up from the inside out and keep my fire fueled. To some I might seem stubborn because I am so sure of what I’m after, but to me that done-deal feeling inside is unwavering and actually quite grounded. I am fearless. But here’s the thing: I feel some sort of fear on almost a daily basis. Kind of contradictory, huh? Well…not really…

…fear is a very human emotion; it means there’s something going on a deeper level than we realize. The trick is not to avoid feeling fear, but feel the fear and do it anyway. I’m not talking about putting yourself in situations that you viscerally dislike. If you don’t like roller coasters, you don’t need to go visit Magic Mountain. If heights make you sick, you don’t have to sign up for a skydiving course. In order to be fearless, you don’t have to do anything that goes against who you are. Actually, just the opposite – being fearless, at least to me, means that you move forward, on your own path, without getting in your own way and ending up at a standstill. Being fearless is subjective. Being fearless is personal. Being fearless is a mindset…

…if you find yourself constantly paralyzed from taking action, there are three little gateway questions you can ask yourself: What’s the best that could happen? What’s the worst that could happen? Will either matter six months from now? Usually we’re most afraid of pursuing the things that are most life altering. Asking yourself these questions shifts your focus onto the outcomes that matter – and the outcomes that don’t. In six months, will you have gotten over your so-called failure and moved forward? Probably. Will you just be back where you started? Probably not. Basically, when you put yourself out there and make a leap, you either gain a step forward or a lesson you can use to help propel you forward. Either way, you win. Not even trying? You’re stuck with more of the same and that vague void left by inaction…

For the complete article, click HERE.

am.xo

 

to join us click on the image or for more information click ‘the book club remix’ in the menu

 

fast company made me cry today part. 2

Yesterday, I told you about the brilliant Fast Company article that moved me to tears and today I thought I would share the key points of the piece.

Herewith, the 7 Habits of Highly Emotional Intelligent People {my homies!} by Harvey Deutschendorf…

  1. They focus on the positive.

  2. They surround themselves with positive people.

  3. They are able to set boundaries and be assertive when necessary.

  4. They are forward thinking and willing to let go of the past.

  5. They look for ways to make life more fun, happy and interesting.

  6. They choose how they expend their energy wisely.

  7. {They Prioritize} Continually learning and growing towards independence.

For the complete article, go here.

Keep being you.

am.xo

 

fast company made me cry today part.1

Fast Company magazine has found a permanent place in my heart.

I started reading business magazines when I was 19; I had always been interested in success and the people {especially the women!} who were successful. I was curious about their habits, their personal journeys and the lessons they learned on their way up the ladder.  What books did they read? What moments changed their lives? What type of education did they have? Etc…The education part was always a tricky one for me. I valued learning but I hated school. While it was clear I was smart to everyone, my intelligence did not fit perfectly into the confines of my local french immersion public school. The intelligence that came so naturally to me, hadn’t been formally named or lauded as yet. I was still just the kid with a lot of potential who talked way too much and used her gut more than her head.

Eventually, I found out that I had something useful called a high emotional intelligence. I found out that being very comfortable socially and unusually intuitive with people’s needs had value for a budding entrepreneur. The cautionary items on my report cards turned out to be strengths. And these traits have made me strong and successful in all aspects of my life.

So why was I crying?

I cried because back in April {it came across my fb newsfeed today}, Fast Company did a piece called 7 Habits of Highly Emotional Intelligent People and I felt so many pieces of my life come together in one neatly written blog post. Business magazines are great guys, but depending on your natural strengths you may feel like they are written for other people. Reading about CV perfect educations, incredible focus and linear thinking may feel alienating at times but I have to tell you something…

we are all capable of success.

Figure out your strengths; understand how they work and how to apply them to your business. Then examine your weaknesses; distinguish between what you can really improve on and what you should delegate to others {…possibly forever}. But don’t waste your time feeling like there is no seat for you at the table.

My highly emotional intelligent self says make your own d*mn chair.

am.xo

p.s. I will share an excerpt from the actual article in part 2.

p.s.s. just in case you didn’t know… Emotional intelligence {EI} is the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. There are three models of EI. The ability model, developed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, focuses on the individual’s ability to process emotional information and use it to navigate the social environment.The trait model as developed by Konstantin Vasily Petrides, “encompasses behavioral dispositions and self perceived abilities and is measured through self report”. The final model, the mixed model is a combination of both ability and trait EI. It defines EI as an array of skills and characteristics that drive leadership performance, as proposed by Daniel Goleman.

Studies have shown that people with high EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills. Markers of EI and methods of developing it have become more widely coveted in the past few decades. 

{source for this definition wikipedia}

hard question of the month: what if you decided to be unapologetic about your ambition?

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience

in which you really stop to look fear in the face…

do the thing you think you cannot do.

― Eleanor Roosevelt

mental toughness

{excerpted + am.com edited from inc.com}

First, the definition:

“The ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals.”

Now the word:

GRIT.

The definition of grit almost perfectly describes qualities every successful person possesses, because mental toughness builds the foundations for long-term success.

For example, successful people are great at delaying gratification. Successful people are great at withstanding temptation. Successful people are great at overcoming fear in order to do what they need to do. Successful people don’t just prioritize. They consistently keep doing what they have decided is most important.

Here are ways you can become mentally stronger–and as a result more successful:

1. Always act as if you are in total control.

The same premise applies to luck. Many people feel luck has a lot to do with success or failure. If they succeed, luck favored them, and if they fail, luck was against them.

Most successful people do feel good luck played some role in their success. But they don’t wait for good luck or worry about bad luck. They act as if success or failure is totally within their control. If they succeed, they caused it. If they fail, they caused it.

By not wasting mental energy worrying about what might happen to you, you can put all your effort into making things happen.

You can’t control luck, but you can definitely control you.

2. Put aside things you have no ability to impact.

Mental strength is like muscle strength — no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can’t control?

For some people, it’s politics. For others, it’s family. For others, it’s global warming. Whatever it is, you care, and you want others to care.

Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle, and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change–but don’t try to make everyone else change.

{They won’t!}

3. See the past as valuable training and nothing more.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your perspective. When something bad happens to you, see it as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, don’t just learn from it–see it as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong but only in terms of how you will make sure that next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

4. Celebrate the success of others.

Many people — I guarantee you know at least a few — see success as a zero-sum game: there’s only so much to go around. When someone else shines, they think that diminishes the light from their stars.

Resentment sucks up a massive amount of mental energy — energy better applied elsewhere.

When a friend does something awesome, that doesn’t preclude you from doing something awesome. In fact, where success is concerned, birds of a feather tend to flock together — so draw your successful friends even closer.

Don’t resent awesomeness. Create and celebrate awesomeness, wherever you find it, and in time you’ll find even more of it in yourself.

5. Never allow yourself to whine. {Or complain. Or criticize.}

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems always makes you feel worse, not better.

So if something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that mental energy into making the situation better.

So why waste time? Fix it now. Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just serve as a shoulder they can cry on. Friends don’t let friends whine; friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Focus only on impressing yourself.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all things. People may like your things — but that doesn’t mean they like you.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

And you’ll have a lot more mental energy to spend on the people who really do matter in your life.

7. Count your blessings.

Take a second every night before you turn out the light and, in that moment, quit worrying about what you don’t have. Quit worrying about what others have that you don’t.

Think about what you do have. You have a lot to be thankful for. Feels pretty good, doesn’t it?  Feeling better about yourself is the best way of all to recharge your mental batteries.

am.xo

hard question of the month: what if we didn’t excuse each other?

just decide

{reposted from my personal fb page}

Decide to be your own #1 fan.
Decide that what you say about you is what matters.
Decide that what people think of you is none of your business.
Decide that you are extraordinary.
Decide that you are capable.
Decide that you are worthy.
Decide that you deserve good health.
Decide that your voice has value.
Decide that you, yes you, are the greatest thing to ever happen to your life.

Do not let other people or circumstances decide what is possible for you. That’s too risky. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of your mind. Get it together.

Get out there and go do the d*mn thing.

Go.

#GETITGIRL

am.xo

no g no g

No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent.


― Eleanor Roosevelt

the power of a slight shift

“…when two people meet, if there’s rapport, the person who is most certain will always influence the other person…”

 

 

musings: Rich Roll

{an excerpt from the article Why You Should Stop Hacking Your Life and Invest In The Journey by Rich Roll}

Now let’s examine what happens when you try to be the very best you can be at something you are inherently passionate about. Suddenly the heart beats faster. The palms begin to sweat. Maybe it’s excitement. But more likely it’s fear. That’s right, fear. Commitment — total dedication to the core — is about as scary as it gets. It’s not just hard. It’s without a doubt the most difficult thing imaginable. Because if you take that risk, truly put yourself completely on the line and fail {or succeed — yes fear of success plagues more than you might imagine}, then you will have to reckon with yourself. Terrifying!

…No shortcuts. Just a good, solid Malcolm Gladwell-esque 10,000+ hours of downright busting your ass on something that means everything to you. Toiling in obscurity. Failing relentlessly. Picking yourself up off the floor when all is lost and going the extra mile when nobody is looking. Slow, incremental progress. Tiny hard fought victories along the way that begin to take form. And ultimately congeal to lay the foundation for a life and legacy that has true value…

…Don’t misunderstand. I like goals and I like achieving them. They keep me focused and act as powerful drivers that lend structure to my day. But it’s crucial to emotionally detach from the end result or third-party reception to your efforts. Let it go. It’s none of your business. It’s also irrelevant. But what is relevant is signing up for the journey. What is crucial is showing up at the starting line. What is essential is taking that first step, followed by a second, on what I can only hope will be a pilgrimage that will last the remainder of your days in this short life. Irrespective of success or failure (subjective terms anyway), you are guaranteed to experience what it is like to be fully invested in something, anything. This is what it is to be completely alive. And that is the gift.

Rich Roll is a world renowned ultra-distance triathlete, wellness advocate, host of the popular Rich Roll Podcast & #1 bestselling author of Finding Ultra: Rejecting Middle Age, Becoming One of the World’s Fittest Men & Discovering Himself . You can read his musings and listen to his conversations at richroll.com.

am.xo

p.s. Rich’s book Finding Ultra is one of my favourite workout.every.d*mn.day. inspirations. Oh what the human body is capable of…

Beginning today, set an intention and a relentless focus on living your life as the greatest person you can be, in all situations. Demand that you demonstrate a strength of character in such a way that you find pride in who you are, and that others see you as a role model.

― Brendon Burchard

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