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My life didn’t please me,

so I created my life.
― Coco Chanel

I have to open this post with a bit of an explanation. When I was in my early twenties and beginning my career as a real estate agent, I could not get enough of the personal development movement, all of these talented speakers spoke directly to my timid heart; they taught me how to shape my perspective, the power of my own mind, how to cultivate self-confidence and in the cut-throat world of  sales, how to grow some b*lls. Here is one of my absolute favourites:

{the video is 14 minutes and pretty dated in its aesthetic + economics but every bit the wake up call you might need right now}

What Jim Rohn Believes:

  •  You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
  • The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.
  • Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
  • Let others lead small lives, but not you.. Let others argue over small things, but not you.. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you.. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.
  • Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.
  • Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.
  • Miss a meal if you have to, but don’t miss a book.
  • Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.

Jim Rohn was the first person that said, “if you invest in your job you will make a living but if you invest in yourself, you will make a fortune.” My mind was blown and then completely changed. My fortune has manifested in many different ways throughout my life, but because of this man’s work I never wake up feeling anything less than abundant and blessed. And my hope is that you do too.

am.xo

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I have learned to like my mistakes. Definitely not in the moment, but in retrospect things were never as bad as I thought they were. And believe me, things were {felt} really awful at the time. We all feel it don’t we? That our mistakes somehow define us and that it is impossible to see ourselves in a positive light again? It can feel so limiting {and even hopeless}. But the truth is, as women, our ability to deal with mistakes is tied rather tightly with the idea that we have to be perfect.

Striving for perfection is crippling and can paralyze you. But progress, now that’s totally doable. If our lives were composed of one perfect moment after another, we would be robbed of the feeling of true success, the bliss of finding real love and the beauty of a rainbow. Things would be truly blah. My mistakes have made it possible to be grateful for all the wonder and joy in my life. My mistakes have helped me reach higher and push harder for what I want. And to do this. To be okay with your mistakes. You need to know a few things…

{an abbreviated excerpt from The Beauty of Getting it Wrong by Bonnie Tsui for O Magazine, January 2014}

Our minds are highly attuned to focus on what we’ve done wrong, not what we’ve done right. With regard to mistakes most of us fall into one 1 or 2 categories; the fixed mindset or the growth mindset. The fixed mindset tries to shut out the mistake all together and not acknowledge it. This is unfortunate, because according to recent research, acknowledging our slipups is critical to recovering from them. The growth mindset, identifies what went wrong and then adapts accordingly – it’s easier for these people to get back on their feet. The key: self-compassion. “Several studies show that when we practice a new way of approaching failure, it can change an error from something we fear into something we embrace,” says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor of human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin. “The hardest part is giving yourself permission to relate to the mistake differently.”

“We found that people who were taught to be kind to themselves felt more motivated to see their mistakes as a chance for growth,” says lead researcher Juliana Breines, PhD. “Outside validation didn’t seem to matter as much.”

Talk to yourself from the perspective of a caring, problem solving friend. No excoriation necessary.

{for the entire article, click strategia vincente in opzioni binarie}

So there you have it, another invitation to shift your perspective on things. I know it’s not an easy feat, but if you begin to apply self-compassion to your little mistakes, you will find your ability to deal with big mistakes has dramatically improved. By then you’ll be okay with not being perfect and maybe even a little thrilled by your progress.

am.xo

 

Sally Hogshead believes the greatest value you can add is to become more of yourself. As world-class branding expert Sally discovered a new way to measure how people perceive your communication. She helps you find out what makes you intensely valuable to others, so the world will see you at your best.

What Sally Hogshead Believes: 

  • The world is not changed by people who sort of care
  • In a competitive environment, the most fascinating option always wins
  • Stand out, or don’t bother
  • You can be comfortable, or outstanding, but not both
  • Forget what your business card says. You’re an entrepreneur
  • Live in verbs
  • Passion is the ultimate way to add value to your clients
  • If you’re not eliciting a negative response from someone, you’re probably not fascinating to anyone

To get more insight from Sally Hogshead, I recommend her refreshing book Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion & Captivation. Her writing covers the often overlooked subject of how the world sees you and how to use that information to your advantage. This book is right for you if you are reworking or questioning your identity, a brand or developing a new marketing campaign. No matter what you believe dear hearts…there is something fascinating about you and your work! 

am.xo

There is something more. There is something better. Yes you should have it. Yes you should pursue it. Lose sleep over it and definitely put your whole heart into it. I believe in having it all. The best health. Deeply loving relationships. Thorough compassion for yourself. Automatic peace of mind. Discipline that is not punishing. Confidence that honours the greatness within you. And rewards that are worthy of your highest potential.

At some point you have to step to the giants.

―Eric Thomas

I believe in you. I believe in everything that is possible for you. But first you have to step to the giants…

ego.   

fear. 

anger. 

The trifecta of unhappiness. These troublemakers are holding you back, keeping you up at night, eating away at your backbone and causing so much of the anxiety that is preventing you from living your best life. You know it. I know it. And it’s time for you to put an end to it. But how right? That’s the million dollar question. How do you unpack years of baggage? How do you look fear in the eye and then look past it? How do you stop trying to prove yourself and start really being yourself? How do you stop believing all the crap people have told you about you? How do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made? How do you stop justifying why you deserve better or more? How do you leave the unchangeable past in the past? It’s a long list isn’t it? So much to work through and so much to figure out. 

Hopefully, in that special place – between the questions and the answers – you will allow me to be your guide, your cheerleader, your resource and your game changer. I want this blog to shake you up a bit. Get you fired up. Get you ready. And then GET YOU GOING! 

 welcome to your new journey

+ welcome to the blog

am.xo

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