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what attractive people do differently

{this post is based on Inc.com article titled 9 Things Incredibly Attractive People Do Differently, I hate the title but the content was good so here it is with the AM™ remix – link to original article below}

1. They smile…a lot.

Many of us walk around grim-faced with all of our life’s stresses mapped across our face; what if we thought more like an optimist or focused on the things we have to be grateful about? Smiling is contagious and also affects your bio-chemistry in a positive way. Joy is attractive. Start with your smile.

2. They dress to kill.

“Dressing well doesn’t require a lot of money, but it does require a bit of thought and attention. Incredibly attractive people are fashion conscious not due to vanity but because they know that clothing can set the right mood and tone. They know when to dress it up or take it casual to fit the appropriate environment…Wear fashion proudly and people will notice.”

3. They are careful about what comes out of their mouths.

Just try not to say stupid things and talk to much. We spend so much time trying to sound interesting and smart that we forget to simply take interest in the people around us. Listen. Pay attention. Ask questions.
“Mystery and attraction go together.”

4. They are careful about what goes in their mouths.

“Incredibly attractive people manage their bodies.” Health is important. Making health a priority makes you attractive. Be sure to eat foods that are complementary to your goals, your performance and your commitment to excellence. “Bad habits such as gum, cigarettes and too much alcohol can knock attractiveness down quickly, even though people won’t say anything. Don’t let over indulgence and poor choices get in the way of the respect people should have for you.”

5. They listen.

“Many people are preoccupied with themselves and what’s on their own mind. So when someone genuinely shows interest in another and listens, they immediately strengthen their connection with that person. I have personally become closer with a mere acquaintance through sharing an important story. Incredibly attractive people have mastered the art of listening.” Also see #3.

6. They learn.

“There is no question that smart is sexy and ignorance is ugly. Incredibly attractive people know you don’t have to be a brainiac to maintain admiration, but it helps to be aware of current events and develop your mind. Dedicate an hour a day to making yourself smarter.” The facts are successful people never stop learning and they are always reading. Not watching TV or scrolling through social media – READING non-fiction {business, personal development, health, languages}!!!

7. They take care of themselves

“It’s difficult to be around people who neglect themselves. It’s often a clear sign of low self-esteem. Incredibly attractive people hold themselves in high regard. They are strong in self-confidence and care about their bodies. They enjoy life and want to be around for as long as possible. Make your own body a priority. You don’t have to be a perfect specimen, but good health and maintenance go a long way to show people that you matter.” As a holistic wellness maven, I can tell you that your degree of self-love shows up in your commitment to self-care and that tells people everything. Send the right message.

8. They take care of others

“A generous spirit is a huge attractor.” The purpose of life is to give. Period. Service is the highest form of success.

9. They make others feel attractive as well.

“Each person you meet brings something special to your world. Make sure you enhance theirs with the best you have to offer.”

{for the original article by Kevin Daum click HERE}

mental toughness

{excerpted + am.com edited from inc.com}

First, the definition:

“The ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals.”

Now the word:

GRIT.

The definition of grit almost perfectly describes qualities every successful person possesses, because mental toughness builds the foundations for long-term success.

For example, successful people are great at delaying gratification. Successful people are great at withstanding temptation. Successful people are great at overcoming fear in order to do what they need to do. Successful people don’t just prioritize. They consistently keep doing what they have decided is most important.

Here are ways you can become mentally stronger–and as a result more successful:

1. Always act as if you are in total control.

The same premise applies to luck. Many people feel luck has a lot to do with success or failure. If they succeed, luck favored them, and if they fail, luck was against them.

Most successful people do feel good luck played some role in their success. But they don’t wait for good luck or worry about bad luck. They act as if success or failure is totally within their control. If they succeed, they caused it. If they fail, they caused it.

By not wasting mental energy worrying about what might happen to you, you can put all your effort into making things happen.

You can’t control luck, but you can definitely control you.

2. Put aside things you have no ability to impact.

Mental strength is like muscle strength — no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can’t control?

For some people, it’s politics. For others, it’s family. For others, it’s global warming. Whatever it is, you care, and you want others to care.

Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle, and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change–but don’t try to make everyone else change.

{They won’t!}

3. See the past as valuable training and nothing more.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your perspective. When something bad happens to you, see it as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, don’t just learn from it–see it as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong but only in terms of how you will make sure that next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

4. Celebrate the success of others.

Many people — I guarantee you know at least a few — see success as a zero-sum game: there’s only so much to go around. When someone else shines, they think that diminishes the light from their stars.

Resentment sucks up a massive amount of mental energy — energy better applied elsewhere.

When a friend does something awesome, that doesn’t preclude you from doing something awesome. In fact, where success is concerned, birds of a feather tend to flock together — so draw your successful friends even closer.

Don’t resent awesomeness. Create and celebrate awesomeness, wherever you find it, and in time you’ll find even more of it in yourself.

5. Never allow yourself to whine. {Or complain. Or criticize.}

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems always makes you feel worse, not better.

So if something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that mental energy into making the situation better.

So why waste time? Fix it now. Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just serve as a shoulder they can cry on. Friends don’t let friends whine; friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Focus only on impressing yourself.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all things. People may like your things — but that doesn’t mean they like you.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

And you’ll have a lot more mental energy to spend on the people who really do matter in your life.

7. Count your blessings.

Take a second every night before you turn out the light and, in that moment, quit worrying about what you don’t have. Quit worrying about what others have that you don’t.

Think about what you do have. You have a lot to be thankful for. Feels pretty good, doesn’t it?  Feeling better about yourself is the best way of all to recharge your mental batteries.

am.xo

on being relentless

I think of the word relentless and I think of a character trait that women have been socialized to avoid. We never want to seem harsh or inflexible. The very thought of a woman being incessant in the pursuit of her goals almost automatically brings up the B word. Not to me. But to many of us and to society at large, this is true. So my question is…

Is being relentless necessary?

To be honest, adopting or teaching this skill had never crossed my mind until I came across the book Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable by Tim S. Grover. In a nutshell, the man responsible for the sports performance and motivation of Micheal Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade and other high calibre athletes wrote a book on what it takes to achieve that kind of success. THAT KIND OF SUCCESS. You know what I mean right? I’m not talking about a few wins, I’m talking about winning over and over again. I’m talking about winning so much that losing is a surprise to you. THAT KIND OF SUCCESS.

I picked up the book and could not put it down but by the end of it I understood 2 things very clearly:

  1. By saying that being relentless is only socially acceptable in men, we are doing a tremendous disservice to women and girls.
  2. I have not even scratched the surface of my potential and neither have you. Trust me. {gulp, it’s a tough one to swallow}.

The book was intimidating, motivating, useful and certainly not for the faint of heart. The book is a cold hard slap to the ego. If you think, as I did, that great should be good enough than this book is not for you. If you are interested in the extent of what is possible for you, and are not anxious about what that says about where you are right now, then brace yourself, and read this book.

Some important takeaways from Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable by Tim S. Grover:

  • crave the end result so intensely that the work is irrelevant
  • do the hardest things first, just to show there’s no task too big
  • you can’t commit to excellence until your mind is ready to take you there
  • you keep pushing yourself harder when everyone else has had enough
  • you make decisions, not suggestions

And to answer the question, YES! I believe that being relentless in the pursuit of your highest potential is necessary for women.

Now more than ever. Get the book HERE.

am.xo

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