the book club remix™ authors have important things to tell you

{this post was excerpted from Dear (Female) Grads: You’ve Learned How to Be Perfect. Now Change. By Claire Shipman and Katty Kay on Time.com}
  1. Drive a stake through perfection.

  2. Do more, think less.

  3. Fail fast.

  4. Toughen your hide.

  5. Nudge, don’t soothe.

  6. You don’t have to be a jerk to be confident.

To read the complete article, go here.

To join the book club remix before the list closes, go here.

am.xo

to be powerful

What does it take to be a powerful woman in 2014?

To be powerful in 2014 {and always}, a woman requires the skill of self-mastery. As defined, it is the power to control one’s actions, impulses, or emotions. If we can do this, then we can become impervious to external circumstances or influence. Our sense of self will no longer be determined by others. Our sense of security will no longer rise and fall with changes beyond our control. We will no longer succumb to the call of self-pity {and if we do, we won’t linger there too long}. We will not be pulled and pushed by the needs of others or defined by the relationships in our lives. This is freedom and this kind of freedom has a name, it’s POWER.

By cultivating self-mastery, we open ourselves up to our highest potential and release ourselves from the impact of having an untethered life. 

What you need to know is that self-mastery begins as a habit to be developed and then becomes a character trait, but it is never fully achieved. It is a moving target that requires our attention and will be tested every day. Self-mastery is a big concept; one that I will continue to explore on this blog and one that I encourage you to explore on your own. For now though, here are 5 tips to get you started {pick one, then add another when you’re ready}:

  1. Develop a talent that requires daily practice. The commitment to a consistent and regular practice schedule needed to improve and develop a talent, builds inner resolve and strength that can help overcome the pull of surrender in other areas of your life.
  2. Meditate. The ability to calm the mind, clearing it of thought also builds self-mastery. It requires focus and practice and discipline.
  3. Exercise. Running, walking, cycling, hiking, playing a sport, martial arts, any kind of regular workout builds inner strength. Our resolve to act in the face of the urge to sit, to rest, to watch TV, to take the path of least resistance, can be a great source of inner mastery.
  4. Stop eating before you’re full. The self-control necessary to do this will benefit you elsewhere in your life as well. It’s been said, that if you cannot control how much you eat, you will not likely be very successful at controlling other areas of your life {this one is harsh but I believe, as a holistic nutritionist and as someone that has struggled with this in the past, it needs to be said}.
  5. Do something hard. Set the goal. Create the action plan. Set the schedule. Go it done. And repeat.

Leonardo da Vinci says, “…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment…He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.”

I say, word.

am.xo

on being relentless

I think of the word relentless and I think of a character trait that women have been socialized to avoid. We never want to seem harsh or inflexible. The very thought of a woman being incessant in the pursuit of her goals almost automatically brings up the B word. Not to me. But to many of us and to society at large, this is true. So my question is…

Is being relentless necessary?

To be honest, adopting or teaching this skill had never crossed my mind until I came across the book Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable by Tim S. Grover. In a nutshell, the man responsible for the sports performance and motivation of Micheal Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade and other high calibre athletes wrote a book on what it takes to achieve that kind of success. THAT KIND OF SUCCESS. You know what I mean right? I’m not talking about a few wins, I’m talking about winning over and over again. I’m talking about winning so much that losing is a surprise to you. THAT KIND OF SUCCESS.

I picked up the book and could not put it down but by the end of it I understood 2 things very clearly:

  1. By saying that being relentless is only socially acceptable in men, we are doing a tremendous disservice to women and girls.
  2. I have not even scratched the surface of my potential and neither have you. Trust me. {gulp, it’s a tough one to swallow}.

The book was intimidating, motivating, useful and certainly not for the faint of heart. The book is a cold hard slap to the ego. If you think, as I did, that great should be good enough than this book is not for you. If you are interested in the extent of what is possible for you, and are not anxious about what that says about where you are right now, then brace yourself, and read this book.

Some important takeaways from Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable by Tim S. Grover:

  • crave the end result so intensely that the work is irrelevant
  • do the hardest things first, just to show there’s no task too big
  • you can’t commit to excellence until your mind is ready to take you there
  • you keep pushing yourself harder when everyone else has had enough
  • you make decisions, not suggestions

And to answer the question, YES! I believe that being relentless in the pursuit of your highest potential is necessary for women.

Now more than ever. Get the book HERE.

am.xo

 

Sally Hogshead believes the greatest value you can add is to become more of yourself. As world-class branding expert Sally discovered a new way to measure how people perceive your communication. She helps you find out what makes you intensely valuable to others, so the world will see you at your best.

What Sally Hogshead Believes: 

  • The world is not changed by people who sort of care
  • In a competitive environment, the most fascinating option always wins
  • Stand out, or don’t bother
  • You can be comfortable, or outstanding, but not both
  • Forget what your business card says. You’re an entrepreneur
  • Live in verbs
  • Passion is the ultimate way to add value to your clients
  • If you’re not eliciting a negative response from someone, you’re probably not fascinating to anyone

To get more insight from Sally Hogshead, I recommend her refreshing book Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion & Captivation. Her writing covers the often overlooked subject of how the world sees you and how to use that information to your advantage. This book is right for you if you are reworking or questioning your identity, a brand or developing a new marketing campaign. No matter what you believe dear hearts…there is something fascinating about you and your work! 

am.xo

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