29 change makers define a good life

{source: the good life project™ by Johnathan Fields, for more information click here}

Outrageous success comes from
thinking different,
being different
+ having the confidence
to always do what
feels right in your heart.

— Marie Forleo

some really great notes on feeling the fear + doing it anyway

{some meaningful excerpts from the piece, Breaking Out of Failure by Katie Horwitch}

…those ideas and visions that are actually attainable and feel like they’re in the bag, they light me up from the inside out and keep my fire fueled. To some I might seem stubborn because I am so sure of what I’m after, but to me that done-deal feeling inside is unwavering and actually quite grounded. I am fearless. But here’s the thing: I feel some sort of fear on almost a daily basis. Kind of contradictory, huh? Well…not really…

…fear is a very human emotion; it means there’s something going on a deeper level than we realize. The trick is not to avoid feeling fear, but feel the fear and do it anyway. I’m not talking about putting yourself in situations that you viscerally dislike. If you don’t like roller coasters, you don’t need to go visit Magic Mountain. If heights make you sick, you don’t have to sign up for a skydiving course. In order to be fearless, you don’t have to do anything that goes against who you are. Actually, just the opposite – being fearless, at least to me, means that you move forward, on your own path, without getting in your own way and ending up at a standstill. Being fearless is subjective. Being fearless is personal. Being fearless is a mindset…

…if you find yourself constantly paralyzed from taking action, there are three little gateway questions you can ask yourself: What’s the best that could happen? What’s the worst that could happen? Will either matter six months from now? Usually we’re most afraid of pursuing the things that are most life altering. Asking yourself these questions shifts your focus onto the outcomes that matter – and the outcomes that don’t. In six months, will you have gotten over your so-called failure and moved forward? Probably. Will you just be back where you started? Probably not. Basically, when you put yourself out there and make a leap, you either gain a step forward or a lesson you can use to help propel you forward. Either way, you win. Not even trying? You’re stuck with more of the same and that vague void left by inaction…

For the complete article, click HERE.

am.xo

NEW LOGO {I have a thing for art deco}. 

the book club remix™ authors have important things to tell you

{this post was excerpted from Dear (Female) Grads: You’ve Learned How to Be Perfect. Now Change. By Claire Shipman and Katty Kay on Time.com}
  1. Drive a stake through perfection.

  2. Do more, think less.

  3. Fail fast.

  4. Toughen your hide.

  5. Nudge, don’t soothe.

  6. You don’t have to be a jerk to be confident.

To read the complete article, go here.

To join the book club remix before the list closes, go here.

am.xo

You have to dress well,

or else your future

won’t take you seriously.

— Elizabeth Gilbert’s sister

 

to join us click on the image or for more information click ‘the book club remix’ in the menu

 

fast company made me cry today part. 2

Yesterday, I told you about the brilliant Fast Company article that moved me to tears and today I thought I would share the key points of the piece.

Herewith, the 7 Habits of Highly Emotional Intelligent People {my homies!} by Harvey Deutschendorf…

  1. They focus on the positive.

  2. They surround themselves with positive people.

  3. They are able to set boundaries and be assertive when necessary.

  4. They are forward thinking and willing to let go of the past.

  5. They look for ways to make life more fun, happy and interesting.

  6. They choose how they expend their energy wisely.

  7. {They Prioritize} Continually learning and growing towards independence.

For the complete article, go here.

Keep being you.

am.xo

 

fast company made me cry today part.1

Fast Company magazine has found a permanent place in my heart.

I started reading business magazines when I was 19; I had always been interested in success and the people {especially the women!} who were successful. I was curious about their habits, their personal journeys and the lessons they learned on their way up the ladder.  What books did they read? What moments changed their lives? What type of education did they have? Etc…The education part was always a tricky one for me. I valued learning but I hated school. While it was clear I was smart to everyone, my intelligence did not fit perfectly into the confines of my local french immersion public school. The intelligence that came so naturally to me, hadn’t been formally named or lauded as yet. I was still just the kid with a lot of potential who talked way too much and used her gut more than her head.

Eventually, I found out that I had something useful called a high emotional intelligence. I found out that being very comfortable socially and unusually intuitive with people’s needs had value for a budding entrepreneur. The cautionary items on my report cards turned out to be strengths. And these traits have made me strong and successful in all aspects of my life.

So why was I crying?

I cried because back in April {it came across my fb newsfeed today}, Fast Company did a piece called 7 Habits of Highly Emotional Intelligent People and I felt so many pieces of my life come together in one neatly written blog post. Business magazines are great guys, but depending on your natural strengths you may feel like they are written for other people. Reading about CV perfect educations, incredible focus and linear thinking may feel alienating at times but I have to tell you something…

we are all capable of success.

Figure out your strengths; understand how they work and how to apply them to your business. Then examine your weaknesses; distinguish between what you can really improve on and what you should delegate to others {…possibly forever}. But don’t waste your time feeling like there is no seat for you at the table.

My highly emotional intelligent self says make your own d*mn chair.

am.xo

p.s. I will share an excerpt from the actual article in part 2.

p.s.s. just in case you didn’t know… Emotional intelligence {EI} is the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. There are three models of EI. The ability model, developed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, focuses on the individual’s ability to process emotional information and use it to navigate the social environment.The trait model as developed by Konstantin Vasily Petrides, “encompasses behavioral dispositions and self perceived abilities and is measured through self report”. The final model, the mixed model is a combination of both ability and trait EI. It defines EI as an array of skills and characteristics that drive leadership performance, as proposed by Daniel Goleman.

Studies have shown that people with high EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills. Markers of EI and methods of developing it have become more widely coveted in the past few decades. 

{source for this definition wikipedia}

Great spirits have always

encountered violent opposition

from mediocre minds.

— Albert Einstein

5 things to do in september

ONE: take yourself out to a lovely dinner

{eat slowly + dress up.  if the thought of doing this mortifies you then there’s probably a bunch of things you won’t do by yourself; which means you are missing out on a lot…probably too much. stop waiting for company. it’s better to be in love with the person you are alone with BEFORE you look for love}.

TWO: get a pair of heels you can walk beautifully in

{lady like heels; not those impossibly high ones they keep shoving down our throats}

THREE: read a book that will better you

{non-fiction + self-help is best…go to the bookstore, go to that section and buy the one that jumps out at you or join my book club remix and have a great book chosen for you}

FOUR: replace one meal with a healthy salad each day

{dinner is best – no creamy dressings + croutons! eat slowly, put your fork down after each bite 

FIVE: get yourself a bouquet of fresh flowers

{inexpensive + pretty is fine, place in a beautiful vase wherever you can see it most often}

 

am.xo

hard question of the month: what if you decided to be unapologetic about your ambition?

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience

in which you really stop to look fear in the face…

do the thing you think you cannot do.

― Eleanor Roosevelt

mental toughness

{excerpted + am.com edited from inc.com}

First, the definition:

“The ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals.”

Now the word:

GRIT.

The definition of grit almost perfectly describes qualities every successful person possesses, because mental toughness builds the foundations for long-term success.

For example, successful people are great at delaying gratification. Successful people are great at withstanding temptation. Successful people are great at overcoming fear in order to do what they need to do. Successful people don’t just prioritize. They consistently keep doing what they have decided is most important.

Here are ways you can become mentally stronger–and as a result more successful:

1. Always act as if you are in total control.

The same premise applies to luck. Many people feel luck has a lot to do with success or failure. If they succeed, luck favored them, and if they fail, luck was against them.

Most successful people do feel good luck played some role in their success. But they don’t wait for good luck or worry about bad luck. They act as if success or failure is totally within their control. If they succeed, they caused it. If they fail, they caused it.

By not wasting mental energy worrying about what might happen to you, you can put all your effort into making things happen.

You can’t control luck, but you can definitely control you.

2. Put aside things you have no ability to impact.

Mental strength is like muscle strength — no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can’t control?

For some people, it’s politics. For others, it’s family. For others, it’s global warming. Whatever it is, you care, and you want others to care.

Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle, and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change–but don’t try to make everyone else change.

{They won’t!}

3. See the past as valuable training and nothing more.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your perspective. When something bad happens to you, see it as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, don’t just learn from it–see it as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong but only in terms of how you will make sure that next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

4. Celebrate the success of others.

Many people — I guarantee you know at least a few — see success as a zero-sum game: there’s only so much to go around. When someone else shines, they think that diminishes the light from their stars.

Resentment sucks up a massive amount of mental energy — energy better applied elsewhere.

When a friend does something awesome, that doesn’t preclude you from doing something awesome. In fact, where success is concerned, birds of a feather tend to flock together — so draw your successful friends even closer.

Don’t resent awesomeness. Create and celebrate awesomeness, wherever you find it, and in time you’ll find even more of it in yourself.

5. Never allow yourself to whine. {Or complain. Or criticize.}

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems always makes you feel worse, not better.

So if something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that mental energy into making the situation better.

So why waste time? Fix it now. Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just serve as a shoulder they can cry on. Friends don’t let friends whine; friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Focus only on impressing yourself.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all things. People may like your things — but that doesn’t mean they like you.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

And you’ll have a lot more mental energy to spend on the people who really do matter in your life.

7. Count your blessings.

Take a second every night before you turn out the light and, in that moment, quit worrying about what you don’t have. Quit worrying about what others have that you don’t.

Think about what you do have. You have a lot to be thankful for. Feels pretty good, doesn’t it?  Feeling better about yourself is the best way of all to recharge your mental batteries.

am.xo

hard question of the month: what if we didn’t excuse each other?

just decide

{reposted from my personal fb page}

Decide to be your own #1 fan.
Decide that what you say about you is what matters.
Decide that what people think of you is none of your business.
Decide that you are extraordinary.
Decide that you are capable.
Decide that you are worthy.
Decide that you deserve good health.
Decide that your voice has value.
Decide that you, yes you, are the greatest thing to ever happen to your life.

Do not let other people or circumstances decide what is possible for you. That’s too risky. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of your mind. Get it together.

Get out there and go do the d*mn thing.

Go.

#GETITGIRL

am.xo

Don’t be distracted by criticism.

Remember – the only taste of success some people have is

when they take a bite out of you.
― Zig Ziglar

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